Do You Give Money At Italian Funeral

Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.

08-09-2014, 12:35 PM

old_cold Location: Florida 22,662 posts, read 23,323,298 times Reputation: 26778

Around here, usually it's noted in an obituary what, if anything, should be done with donations. Among friends and relatives, a lack of funds is usually known without any need for a source to inform them. Quote: Originally Posted by BroadwayDiva it's believed that the bereaved should not be spending (too much) on the funeral costs, etc. . That can be taken two ways You all should admit that if someone is needy, there shouldn't be an expectation that cash gifts should be solicited to finance a $12,000 funeral.

08-09-2014, 02:37 PM

revrandy Location: Somewhere Out West 2,287 posts, read 2,372,177 times Reputation: 1948

Quote: Originally Posted by joe from dayton I've never heard of anyone giving money at a funeral. Neither have I and I have presided over a lot of funerals. Donations to charities, sure - money to the family/relatives, a new one on me.

08-09-2014, 03:36 PM

elston Location: Florida (SW) 44,183 posts, read 20,328,286 times Reputation: 46958

I think a cash gift in a condolence card would be very appropriate and welcomed by many families. Funerals are very expensive, flowers and food and clothing......all those expenses......if the deceased and their survivors were well off...perhaps .... a favorite charity...but otherwise a cash gift is thoughtful and often more needed for funeral than for a wedding.

08-09-2014, 04:45 PM

CCc girl Location: UpstateNY 8,612 posts, read 9,583,680 times Reputation: 7573

Nope, never heard of it.

08-10-2014, 12:17 PM

BroadwayDiva 163 posts, read 239,684 times Reputation: 241

Quote: Originally Posted by old_cold Around here, usually it's noted in an obituary what, if anything, should be done with donations. Among friends and relatives, a lack of funds is usually known without any need for a source to inform them. That can be taken two ways You all should admit that if someone is needy, there shouldn't be an expectation that cash gifts should be solicited to finance a $12,000 funeral. You skipped the key words "in some cultures" .

08-11-2014, 09:04 AM

brokensky Location: State of Being 35,883 posts, read 71,568,303 times Reputation: 22615

Quote: Originally Posted by tamiznluv I actually never have either except for here in an old thread. Me, either. However, my husband relayed that where he grew up, folks would often do this at wakes. He is from St. Louis. He said that in Irish and Italian communities, especially, this was not uncommon. I had another friend tell me that in the Polish community she lived in (briefly) it was not uncommon there, either. Here in North Carolina, I have never heard of this. However, I do know folks who anonymously sent money to struggling families after the death of the breadwinner. I also know of many situations where communities have come together to start a "fund" (usually with a bank being trustee) to raise money for a family.

08-13-2014, 03:15 PM

AndreaSoup Location: Here and there 442 posts, read 436,439 times Reputation: 962

Quote: Originally Posted by germaine2626 Yes, it is very common (actually it is expected) in my area to give money to the family. Most people use their own condolence card but most funeral homes have blank cards and envelopes or just envelopes available for you to use. However, it may vary by community or religion. I believe that there was a similar thread a year or two ago that you could check. Very common here (Minnesota), too. I would not feel comfortable attending and NOT giving a card with money in it, actually..

08-13-2014, 04:25 PM

Very common in my former state (MN) At most Catholic wakes, there are 2 options to check on the envelopes......masses for the deceased or the family. On my wife's wake last fall, it was about 80% for family and 20% for masses.

08-13-2014, 04:29 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by old_cold Around here, usually it's noted in an obituary what, if anything, should be done with donations. Among friends and relatives, a lack of funds is usually known without any need for a source to inform them. That can be taken two ways You all should admit that if someone is needy, there shouldn't be an expectation that cash gifts should be solicited to finance a $12,000 funeral. ( 1st part) In my former state most people couldn't care less what the obituary says regarding making donations. They will still check off one of those 2 options and/or order flowers.

09-22-2015, 02:51 PM

helpinneed 1 posts, read 4,336 times Reputation: 11

I never used to give money but then I heard it was appropriate in some cases. Some friends lost their son(52) unexpectedly and had to charge all the arraignments for his burial on their credit card. We gave money mostly because we knew they could use it. A few days after the service they called to say thank you for such a generous gift and then said "we'll probably use it to go out to eat!" That ticked me off. We thought it would help with their expenses but they saw it as free money. Foolish people and their money are soon departed.

Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

All times are GMT -6.

Do You Give Money At Italian Funeral

Source: https://www.city-data.com/forum/grief-mourning/2173829-do-you-give-money-wake-2.html

Posted by: barberowerew.blogspot.com

Share this post